last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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