My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dignity is for republicans.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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