Little spoons don't ask big questions
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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