And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
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i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
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I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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