He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
