I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
