do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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