i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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