Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
