In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
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A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
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