Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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