a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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