I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
