Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
