I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize