I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
