u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
