Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
did you just send me my own nude
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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