I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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