Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
bring money and cleavage
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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