judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
