is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
