I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
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it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
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They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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