sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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