I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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