Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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