i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
