Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am midnight drunk by noon
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
