omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.