Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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