If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
this will be a night to untag.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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