Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
