i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i will never coherently bang her
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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