So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
