he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
