just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?