he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.