she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
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You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
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There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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