tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
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I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
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Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.