You work out of a Hotel?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.