We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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