I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
