Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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