But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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