Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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