Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
