You work out of a Hotel?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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