Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
