Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
