you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
