At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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