Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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