Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
