...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
