I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Someone signed my nipple.
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