Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

are you so shy because you have an std?

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(248): View more from Michigan

Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested

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(571): View more from Virginia

You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?

(703): View more from Virginia

I don't even know what potassium is.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.

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(512): View more from Texas

did you find a tooth?

(254): View more from Texas

did you lose one?

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(206): View more from Washington

He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.

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(224): View more from Illinois

I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!

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