roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
