I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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