i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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