apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
