Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
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