What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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