i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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