Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
