During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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